


just take it easy (hold onto this feeling)

by yellingatbabylon



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: i have absolutely no idea what this is really, it takes place in basically the world we're living in right now, like in terms of like pandemic and things, so if you don't wanna be reminded of that, this probably is not something for u v sorry, very much just started writing and this happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellingatbabylon/pseuds/yellingatbabylon
Summary: Luke had really grown to love the quiet.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	just take it easy (hold onto this feeling)

**Author's Note:**

> luke posted a video and he was wearing glasses and sitting in the sunshine and this happened (once i finished yelling about it). as much as i love seeing the boys and such, it's kinda been nice to see them (esp luke) take a break, ya know? anyway, that mentality kinda sparked a thought in my head and wowie i was suddenly writing 5sos for the first time since november. and i missed writing them a lot. so this is a soft, very vague and floaty return to this little world. x
> 
> idk if the title is exactly fitting but it's what felt right to me? it's from afterglow by all time low. 
> 
> hope everyone is well and good (and recovered from luke posting earlier lol)
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](https://tirednotflirting.tumblr.com/) if you wanna <3

Luke had really grown to love the quiet.

It wasn’t something he was used to. After spending the better part of the last decade of his life on stages and in studios, singing for seas of people wider than he could ever really imagine, the silence that came with the break in everything had been almost deafening. The pause that the world was sitting on had felt like slamming on the brakes too hard and his chest hurt like he was being thrown forward against his seatbelt. The band had provided what felt like endless opportunity, like wide open spaces that he was free to explore and discover. Early on, the new normal they had all had to adjust to felt like getting trapped inside a box and as thankful as he was to have a moment to breath, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.

The summer made him restless. He ached for the feeling of a breeze through his hair as he ran around a stage or to look to stage right and left and find Michael and Calum jumping and running and smiling with him. He missed meeting kids and hearing their stories in front of hotels and airports. He missed hugs and silly faces and hearing how the words that got him through his own heartbreaks helped so many others do the same.

It didn’t take long for him to realize the spiraling hurricane of sound on social media wasn’t going to help. If anything, sitting in his living room with his thumbs scrolling marathon lengths across his screen was probably making it worse. Every other part of his job had been put on hold, stuck frozen in a world that didn’t allow flights across the globe or the roar of a crowd, so he figured, what’s the harm in deleting a couple boxes staring coldly back at him from his phone screen? Encouragement from the boys on the matter helped too, Michael’s promises of keeping him in the know on anything important going on giving him solace in hitting the red text to make the apps vanish. 

Late summer brought long, warm days beside the pool with a book in his hand and Petunia’s head in his lap. It brought Facetime calls to his mom to ask how to cook different meals he remembered from before his childhood was cut a bit short and to make sure he was watering his fruit trees the correct amount. Without even realizing it, the buzz of silence that had set him on edge for so many months began to lower in volume as the temperature dropped just enough to call it autumn in California. As he traded rolled down windows for sweaters on trips to the grocery store, the noise faded to nothing. Life was slower and Luke found himself enjoying it, appreciating it even.

It’s on a cooler morning in early November when he wakes up and hears a melody. It startles him awake, this new, beautiful song playing through his mind for the first time in months. He stumbles out of bed, pushes his glasses up his nose, and grabs his phone and the guitar gathering dust beside his window. He sits cross-legged on the couch with his voice memos open and recording as he puzzles out the notes playing on a loop in his head. Eventually, Petunia wanders out to join him once she deems it an appropriate time to be awake and gives him a confused look from her spot on the floor beside where he stands above her. He leans down and scratches behind her ears, a bright smile on his face as he whispers to his companion who can’t answer back. 

“I think it’s gonna be a good one, sweetheart.”

It’s not the first time it happens. By the time it’s cool enough that he needs to throw on a sweater and socks before stepping out onto the patio with his morning coffee, Luke has a collection of sweet songs to play around with in the moments in between the serene silence he’s welcomed in over the last several months like a long lost friend. He writes words for feelings and thoughts he never knew how to describe before. For the first time he doesn’t feel selfish knowing that what he’s working on isn’t meant for anyone else. He feels a joy in playing and singing for no one but himself (and maybe Petunia) to hear. It feels like keeping a secret, something he hasn’t been able to do for most of his growing up. It’s exciting in a way he hasn’t experienced before. 

He’s watching the sun set over his hushed Los Angeles on a warm day in the middle of winter. If he closes his eyes and focuses on the last bits of sun warming his skin, he can almost believe he’s back in Australia. His mom had mentioned it was a cooler day on their call earlier in the afternoon. She updated him on the new tricks his dad had taught the dog and thanked him for flowers he had sent her as a thank you for the care package she had sent full of his favorite candies he still couldn’t find a way to get in the US. 

As his blue eyes watch the sky turn from orange and pink to a dark indigo as dusk settles over the city he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, his mind counting the inhale and exhale like how he would before taking the stage every night with the boys. The world beyond his patio and string of news updates he turned off the notifications for again in December is anything but quiet and calm. But from here, in the last moments before day becomes night, Luke feels okay. He feels alright. He closes his eyes as he feels the warmth of the day lift from his skin and lets the quiet wash over him again. 

It’s only a few moments later he hears the familiar sound of the sliding door push open and the pattering of Petunia’s paws on the deck as she approaches him. His eyes blink open when the light over the patio is flipped on and he smiles lazily at the dog. She takes her normal spot in front of Luke’s feet and lets her head rest against his knee, her big eyes looking up at him in a silent beg for pets. 

He hears the door slide closed again and a moment later the seat beside him is occupied and he feels a kiss against his hair. He smiles at the feeling, the warmth lost from the sunshine replaced by a blush across his cheeks as he reaches for Ashton’s hand with his free one. Luke lifts the hand to his lips before dropping his head to rest against Ashton’s shoulder, shuffling a bit closer to steal away a bit of his warmth as a slight breeze picks up. 

It had taken Luke a while to figure it out, what it was that made the silence more of a comfort rather than something to fear. He’s sure it’s something more abstract, since he can’t really find the words to describe it, but he’s also pretty sure it lines up somewhat well with when he asked Ashton to come stay with him. Luke’s mind wandered too much to really meditate but he figures his evening rituals of catching up on the day with Ashton under the dull yellow patio light must be a similar experience to whatever Ashton had when he started his days doing yoga in the backyard on Facetime with Calum. Eventually, the daily tradition shifted into whatever it was they were doing now, sitting under the nighttime sky, the only sounds to accompany them being the windchime his neighbor had on the front porch or the cars driving up and down his street.

Some days still felt heavy and noisy despite the rhythmic, quiet nature of their living right now. In the evenings on those days, Luke would press himself closer to Ashton and focus on the rising and falling of his chest and the beating of his heart. He would count his breaths and hum at the feeling of a hand playing with his grown out bleached curls until he was able to figure out what it was that was bothering him. And then they would puzzle and talk their way through whatever it was until the tension left Luke’s shoulders and neck and he would press kisses to Ashton’s cheeks to make him laugh. 

He knows it’s not going to last forever. That one day the world will start turning like normal again and the seas of smiling faces will gather back together and the electric buzz of running around on a stage with the boys he loves most in the world will return. He’ll be away from home long enough that he forgets where he keeps the can opener and the code to his garage. He’ll have to pat makeup below his eyes to look more awake than he feels and he’ll have to be reminded of what city they’re in at least three times before he goes on stage so he doesn’t yell out the wrong one. 

For now though, he has the chilly California winter breeze blowing through his hair and his warm, smiling boy holding him against his chest. And even though it doesn’t feel like the world is turning, the very last moments of daylight are fading away and it reminds Luke that it is. And for now, that’s enough.


End file.
